Codependency was the preferred psychological catch-word of choice for many in the nineties. A generation discovered that they were too dependent on any number of things.

While the issue of being dependent on drugs or alcohol was a problem being addressed through the 12-step program, something new was springing up in the psychological arena.

People were codependent on other people, on spending money, on their jobs, on success, on anything that seemed an integral part of their happiness … or their perceived happiness.

Family was a big codependent topic. Parents were codependent on children and children were codependent on parents. It all seemed like a vicious circle.

And then even in the religious sector … there was a desire to become codependent on God. Remember the phrase, God is my co-pilot.

I wonder how many look back on that decade at all the money spent on books and therapy and wonder, was it worth it? While they may no longer identify themselves as being co-dependent, what replaced that?

Did a sense of “It’s all about me,” surface then? And in an effort to find a sense of peace within ourselves, did we pass on that selfish attitude. Me first – I’ve got to take care of me before I can be of any good or benefit to anyone else.

What if all of it were stripped away? All the things we find comfort in? What then?

For too many Christians, I think, we struggle valiantly to do what we feel God leading us to do. We seek His will and struggle to walk in it. But what if what God wants from us is too hard. What if it hurts too much? Do we listen to our feelings, thinking that God wouldn’t have us deliberately do something that causes us pain?

If we are mature Christians, we understand that pain will come in our lives through losses and disappointments. And during those times we know God will sustain us. Many have already lived through some of the darkest moments of the soul and found God there.

But what if we have to choose something that causes pain? What if our choice leaves us totally alone. Jesus says, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me …”, Matthew 10:37. It goes without sa
ying that anyone loving anything more than Christ is not worthy of Him. Jesus adds in verse 37, "And he who does not take up his cross and follow after Me is not worth of Me."

Too often we associate the hard choices with those in some kind of ministry or mission field. Unfortunately, we have blinded ourselves to the truth. Comfortable Christianity isn’t Christianity at all. Not when it’s become a lifestyle.

We must search ourselves, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and seek to know – truly know – if we are in the Father’s will. Or are we blindly taking the wide gate? Are we avoiding the narrow gate of sacrifice?

Codependence is no longer an issue and with Christ, it never was an issue. It only works one way … total dependency.

Blessings, Francine


    On 6:42 PM Cami said...

    Francine, I am so, so blessed--SO blessed--by this message! Amen, Amen! The way of pain; it's just a feeling after all--but the reward is real, tangible to our spirits; His presence is available to succor us. To know that we are totally dependent on Him is a freedom I myself ache for, and I will continually reach for it, yet beyond my grasp, but ever forward by His grace, through anything and everything! Praise Him!

    On 6:00 AM Francine said...

    Cami ... sometimes it's through the hardest, most painful times that we realize how being totally dependent on Him is the only way.


    This so hard to do totally depend on the Lord. I loved what you wrote. It is so true. Our cross is our crown. That cross gets heavy but it will be worth it in the end. God bless you.
    Sis Noel

    On 11:33 PM David said...

    Thanks to God, and to you, this hits home hard for me and especially close to where I have been.
    He is faithful to meet us at the moment of our returning to Him, seeking His will.
    Pain is a signal, not always to be avoided

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